Those About To Die Review: A Far Cry From The Best Sword-And-Sandal Epics
It's hardly a coincidence that Peacock's new sword-and-sandal show "Those About to Die" (based on Daniel P. Mannix's novel of the same name) arrives within the same year as Ridley Scott's "Gladiator II" — the sequel to one of the most iconic movies in the genre. Drawing on people's growing excitement and thirst for blood-and-sand entertainment is a smart move, but "Saving Private Ryan" screenwriter Robert Rodat's series forces us to reset our expectations right out of the gate.
Despite its large scale and high budget, "Those About to Die" is a far cry from the pinnacles of the genre's TV entries like "Rome" and "Spartacus," highlighting how outstanding those shows truly were and showing that following a tried-and-true recipe isn't as easy as it sounds. Because no matter how hard it tries, Peacock's latest series just can't seem to get it right. It's a shame, because the angle the story begins with clearly has potential, even if it's ridiculously overstuffed with unmemorable characters and overly familiar plotlines.
Overstuffed with forgettable characters and worn-out clichés
The year is 79 CE after Nero's death, in a Rome that's a cesspool of corruption and decay (as we know), with four emperors wanting to become the single ruler of the Roman Empire. But most of the characters we're introduced to are much lower on the food chain. First, we meet Tenax (Iwan Rheon), a crafty and sly "businessman" who runs one of the most successful betting taverns in the city, aiming to con his way into power and fortune as quickly as he can.
In a big ensemble cast, he's the closest we have to a protagonist, and most of the subplots and main characters are connected to him in some way. This includes his beloved chariot racer Scorpus (Dimitri Leonidas), who's also a drunk and egotistical hedonist; Cala (Sara Martins), his newest employee who joins the tavern to buy her three enslaved children; and the cunning, morally despicable Domitian (Jojo Macari), one of the two sons of Emperor Vespasian (Anthony Hopkins). In the other corner, we have Titus (Tom Hughes), Vespasian's more capable son craving to take the throne; Kwame (Moe Hashim), an enslaved gladiator navigating death; and his newly-found friend Viggo (Johannes Haukur Johannesson), who dreams of winning the wooden sword to liberate his family. Yet they're just the tip of the iceberg in an ocean of characters and various locations the pilot unleashes on us with little to no chance to keep up — let alone give us enough time and information to learn about their motivations and relationships with each other.
This aspect is probably the biggest flaw of the series since most of these people are too dull and unremarkable to connect with on a deeper level. It's only after you fight your way through the first three or four episodes (which is a struggle) that they begin to crystallize, allowing us to invest in them emotionally. But since the plot unfolds at a breakneck pace with a lot of soapy drama and high-octane action, there's barely enough time to relate and understand why these characters do what they do. See, it's hard to like or even hate someone when you know so little about their true nature and personality.
Robert Rodat's flavorless writing that makes almost everyone sound the same (whether they have a strong accent or not) paired with Roland Emmerich and Marco Kreuzpaintner's standard, matter-of-fact direction doesn't help much, either. Despite decent visuals (following the usual color palette of similar movies and shows set in the same period) and explicit violence, everything seems to settle for mediocrity here. There aren't a lot of moments that can shake that feeling off of the viewer. Unfortunately, that goes for the cast, too. Even the show's biggest draw, Hopkins, is entirely wasted in a tiny and largely insignificant role that hardly adds anything to the big picture. So it's no surprise that almost none of the actors have a real chance to shine here regardless of their talents and acting skills.
When everything else fails, old-fashioned scheming still works
Regardless of its many shortcomings, however, I can't deny the aspect where "Those About to Die" truly delivers on its premise. Once all the power dynamics, backstories, and evil intents are revealed, the show switches gear in its second half to revel in the elaborate scheming and backstabbing this era of history is famous for. The machinations and manipulations of Jojo Macari's Domitian (the only somewhat standout performance that rides on envy, hatred, and shameless malice) provide a welcome guilty pleasure that the series desperately needs. And Tenax's trickery to get out of impossible debts and life-threatening situations isn't that far behind.
Combined with outrageously provocative sex scenes and futile violence to entertain the masses, this is the one department where the series undoubtedly succeeds. So if you can ignore all the weak attempts at character-building and self-seriousness, and embrace the over-the-top yet satisfying amusement of betrayals, revenge-fueled missions, and pointless killings for power, greed, and pure pleasure, you might find something worthwhile to stick around for throughout these 10 episodes.
Overall, though, it's hard to recommend Robert Rodat's attempt at reviving the historical epic on television since it bleeds from dozens of wounds that essentially wreck its entire constitution. It's not the worst show to watch about chariot racers, gladiators, emperors, and the vicious Roman Empire, but one that's certainly inferior to the multiple classics the genre had to offer in the last few decades. It's probably best to wait for Ridley Scott's "Gladiator II" to quench your thirst for the kind of spectacle that these stories can deliver at their finest.
Season 1 of "Those About to Die" premieres on July 18 on Peacock.